Double Deviled Eggs

Well, I guess it was bound to happen. This is the first recipe I've tried - and hopefully the last - that I actually could not eat. I didn't know what "deviled ham" was, and I wish I had never found out. Opening that can of ham allowed to sit and fester in its own juices reminded me so much of a childhood horror. Each morning before school, I would open a can of wet cat food to feed the cat - at least until my mom ran over the cat in the driveway and crushed its head into a pulp right outside the kitchen window.

And that's what deviled ham is. Stinky, horrendous, cat food allegedly fit for human consumption. It looks gross. It smells awful. And its texture is simply not edible. Look below, and you will see.

Here is the recipe:

6 hard-boiled eggs
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1 teaspoon grated onion
1 teaspoon prepared yellow mustard
1/2 teaspoon A-1 sauce
1 2 1/4 ounce can deviled ham
1/8 teaspoon pepper
parsley, for garnish

1. Mash egg yolks until they are the consistency of coarse corn meal.
2. Add the mayonnaise, onion, mustard, and A-1 sauce.
3. Mix all well and then add the deviled ham and the pepper.
4. Mix again and fill egg white halves with mixture.
5. Garnish each deviled egg with a sprig of parsley.


Above: adding the mayonnaise, onion, and mustard.

Not a bad start, to be honest. A simply deviled egg base, with a little onion thrown in for character.


Above: adding the A-1 sauce, the deviled ham, and the pepper

Here is where it all went wrong. First of all, I like a little meat in a deviled egg. Maybe some bacon, maybe some chicken, but not the vomitous concoction known as deviled ham. Further, adding A-1 sauce to anything other than a tough steak is just offensive.


Above: the finished product, which doesn't look that bad.

So the irony is that my tasting panel, which never saw the deviled ham in its grotesque natural state, actually enjoyed these eggs. They didn't rave over them, but they didn't eschew eating them like usually happens when I present a sugary dessert-inspired deviled egg.

But I couldn't eat them, at all. So the score reflects my gag reflex, which was truly tested during the test of this recipe.

Here are the scores:

Overall - 44 out of 100
Texture - 5 out of 20 - the deviled ham is just a gritty awful texture that cannot be masked
Flavor - 2 out of 100 - just couldn't stand it. I guess a "0" is reserved for the deviled egg recipe containing human stool.
Uniqueness: 12 out of 100
Appearance: 11 out of 100 - the finished product, with the parsley, looks OK.
Ease of preparation: 14 out of 20

Not the worst score yet, but truly horrible.

Comments?